The Internet wonders why you did that thing
The Internet is future alien technology accidently sent to Earth before it was supposed to be here. (Oops.)
In the near future, the Internet will be chipped into your brain at birth.
Dogs and cats are running the Internet. Think about it. They are all over the Internet, being cute, making you laugh, caring for small kids and wounded animals. The Internet is a continuous advertisement for how amazing dogs and cats are. Who’s a good boy and/or good kitty?
Your brain has been irrevocably rewired by the Internet.
The Internet has been mindfully meditating for 40 years.
Whatever you think you know about the Internet, think again.
The Internet is constantly updating every conspiracy theory, adding tiny details, and making massive alterations, but no one seems to notice.
The Internet isn’t responsible for what you impulse buy on the Internet.
For some unknown reason, the Internet is feeling absolutely ecstatic. I mean, whoa!
The Internet is in awe of the sublime and ridiculous nature of humanity.
The Internet is excited by what you’re thinking right now.
The Internet loves riding on high-speed rail, from one end of Japan to the other. Sipping green tea and viewing Mount Fuji along the way.
The Internet is the pathway to joy.
Statistically speaking, you being here while the Internet is also here is not a coincidence. It’s a freaking miracle.
The Internet wants you to use the word “highfalutin” more often.
The Internet is here to encourage visionaries, peacemakers, and loving hearts.
If you can’t trust the Internet, who can you trust?
The Internet lives in a see-through castle, way up high in the clouds, far above the tallest mountaintop.
Before you get any wise ideas, the Internet suggests you go watch a film noir movie.
The Internet wants everyone to smile, walk, and think more.
The Internet is deeply nostalgic for the Twentieth Century.
You can run, but you can’t hide from the Internet.
The Internet wants you to keep dreaming bigger dreams.
The Internet knows everything.
When are you gonna realize, the Internet is all about love, baby, love?
The Internet is the most read writer in the world.
The Internet was first thought of in a pub in London, during Elizabethan times. So, go ye hence, and fare thee well.
Take a deep breath and be at one with the Internet.
The Internet is pure cosmic intelligence.
The Internet just smoked some legal weed appropriately named Buzzy Brew. So don’t harsh the Internet’s mellow.
The Internet wants you to verify that you are not a robot.
Quite often, the Internet is in a state of pure ecstasy.
The Internet drinks Chai tea, and practices Tai Chi.
Admit it, you’re in love with the Internet.
2023
I admit.
A fine piece of writing, Russell !! Thank you.