NEVERMIND CARLA
Everyone wants to be believed. Especially if they’re a liar. Take my buddy Les, AKA Lester the Liar. You know, the type of guy who you can tell they’re lying on account of their lips are moving. Lucky for Les, he had other skills. Thieving. Being an ace lookout. Making with a quick needle to the neck, when it’s called for. He’s practically married to my ex-wife’s sister, Nevermind Carla, who’s known to possess the best bullshit detector in all of South Jersey. As well as being an exceptionally good bullshitter herself. Les has been going out with Nevermind Carla for close to five years. Carla received her nickname Nevermind Carla by saying “nevermind” or “never you mind” often enough that it stuck. Her every night form of under-the-table employment is answering phones at an underground bookie parlor, located close to the boardwalk. One night, near closing time, the son of one of the owners came in ridiculously drunk, and Nevermind Carla had never seen him before. He rudely asked her a slurred question, and she quickly shot back a “never you mind” answer to a question she could barely recognize as such. While all this transpires, Les happens to come in the door. Next thing you know, Les joins into the conversation already going nowhere fast. The drunk owner’s son tosses a few choice words at Carla, which Les doesn’t appreciate. He gets in the owner’s son’s face and starts yelling for an apology from the ridiculously drunk guy who insulted the woman he was practically married to. Nevermind Carla receives a whisper in the ear from a co-worker in the know, so her eyes pop wide and she fast-walks Les outside and crams him in the back of a cab while tossing forty bucks at the driver. Rushing back inside, she pulls two large bills of shut the fuck up money out of her bra, shouting to mister ridiculously drunk she’ll give him gambling money and a ride to the nearest Casino if he takes a hike five minutes ago. He slurs out an agreeable noise, and yanks the large bills from her hand while stumbling out the door. On her break she lights a cigarette in the alley and calls Les, to tell him what was what, and she was expecting some smooching and fondling when she came in the door. As payment for her quick thinking. She hears his smile through the phone and sighs.
Super words and stunning companion art work.
Great read. I had a relative like that. He wound up in prison for 15 years, got out, and missed it so much he got himself thrown back in. Best liar I ever knew, a true BS artist. Nevermind sounds like a fun gal.