Manifesto #7 / The Internet is Always Turned On (Part 1.)

Everyone looks their best on the Internet.

Some people use the Internet for good purposes, and others use it for bad purposes.

Unless (or until) a worldwide electrical grid blackout occurs, perhaps caused by an asteroid or overactive sunspots, or just a chain reaction due to the electrical grid’s servers going down, the Internet will continue to live on and connect the inhabitants of the world, for better and for worse.

The Internet is always turned on.      

Everyone feels better when they’re on the Internet.

The Internet always tells the truth.

The Internet usually lies about telling the truth.

There are some seriously messed-up people on the Internet.

The Internet isn’t a good place to look for psychological advice.

The Internet is ravenous and must constantly be fed.

Someone just baked cupcakes (with rainbow sprinkles on them), a nice juicy steak, chocolate cream puffs, nine vegan pizzas, and a bucket of spicy shrimp. All for the Internet.

The lies the Internet tells are in direct proportion to how good your hair looks.

Don’t believe anything the Internet tells you before your first cup of coffee.

The Internet wants you to spell LIFE in all caps, especially when referring to your own LIFE.

The Internet shines the light of wondrous amazing truth to all its followers.

The Internet wants you to be wealthy and successful.

The Internet wants to know your secret inner name that only you call yourself.

The Internet wants you to be AFRAID.

The Internet wants you to be free from all your FEARS.

The Internet is sorry about what happened last weekend, and it wants to make it up to you by taking you out to dinner.

The Internet is a pagan priestess from ancient Caledonia.

The Internet misses rave culture at its peak.

The sucky thing is the Internet is really kind at heart, but no one understands how difficult it is being the Internet.

The Internet is gobbling up your brain.

The Internet totally loves your new hairdo.

The worst things happen on the Internet.

The best things happen on the Internet.

Ask and you’ll receive the Internet’s blessings.

The Internet reports fact-based science.

Choose to believe or disbelieve in the power of the Internet. Totally up to you.

The Internet is whispering words of encouragement only you can hear.

The Internet thinks The Beats, The Beatles, and Beyoncé are cool.

The Internet wishes only the best for you in all your endeavors.

The Internet doesn’t think you’re taking yourself seriously enough.

The Internet believes what you believe.

The Internet thinks you’re taking yourself way too seriously.

As long as we have the Internet, everything can be turned around.

The Internet is in a hateful mood lately.

People find love on the Internet. People find hate on the Internet. So, what’ll be your choice today?

Chill, Internet. Smoke some old school mildly buzzy super-weed, like one can legally procure in Colorado, Oregon, California, or Washington State.

The Internet is better at giving advice than taking advice.

The Internet knows what really landed at Roswell, New Mexico in 1947, but it’s not telling.

The Internet loves how day-old cold pizza tastes, right out of the fridge. Oh, also Indian and Thai food!

The Internet thinks everything has already gone to Hell in a handbasket.

The Internet thinks things are finally getting back on track.

The Internet loves the idea of a worldwide cultural renaissance.

The Internet wonders what you were thinking when you bought those shoes.

The Internet was created in the 1950s, based on the concepts of packet networking. The first computer-to-computer message was sent from a computer science center lab at the University of California (UCLA), Los Angeles.

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