Major Motion Picture: The Sequel
Coming soon, to a movie theater only ten blocks away. Like no other film in the history of movies. It’ll blow your mind, make you laugh until you cry, unearth your subconscious programming, rewire your DNA, and buy you a winning lottery ticket. Made by a seasoned director who’s been around the block a time or two, with an amateur cast getting their first big break, and written by a multicultural and gender fluid flock of drunken writers who can be found at the closest studio-adjacent dive bar, for rewrites. With round the clock showings for two weeks. Streaming on all platforms soon after—made to be continuously seen by lovers of modern-day cinema. You’ve set your mobile phone alarm for 5:00 a.m., since you’re compelled to start watching it upon awakening like millions of others around the globe. With only one eye fully open, you dose yourself with countless injections of caffeine. Picture it. Drooling on your pillow, guzzling coffee, slurping Matcha green tea, and after realizing you’ve noticeably awakened, you then agree with your Shadow Self, it’s time for having a mid-morning gin and tonic. Chin, chin. Shown on widescreens, fill-up-a-wall screens, and iPhone screens. It’s life-enriching and totally bitchin’. Mind-opening, uplifting, earth-shaking, with a brain-caressing sensuality. There’s a cooking segment featuring mushroom ravioli, feta and spinach omelets, best veggie dumplings evah, and cashew butter and cinnamon on spelt toast. It’s got cloned phones calling clones to set up virtual dates. Full of laughs galore, rivers of tears, hidden trails in the woods, trick motorcycle riding on the loop-de-loop near the abandoned ghost town, and a parachute miraculously opening at an iffy altitude saving the skydiver’s life at the last possible moment. Beyond all scope of time and distance, and in Technicolor Panavision, a couple magically wakes up in Barcelona who went to sleep in Vancouver, BC. It’s got meaningful breathtaking moments, slow-motion action sequences, tender yet pulse-pounding kissing and groping. You’ll see futuristic cityscapes, baby owls befriending squeaky little squirrels, a female robot who becomes human by sheer force of will, and a kindly gas station attendant who lost his dipstick in the weeds out back of the filling station. There’s a heroine in a vintage 70s powder blue jumpsuit who stashes street users’ heroin so they can’t get high on their own supply. It contains a subplot concerning stolen artifacts previously considered lost to the tides of history, and then mysteriously showing up in a never-known-it-existed sub-basement in The Metropolitan Museum of Art. The lead actor goes through multiple costume changes, wherein he becomes a she, and she turns back into a he, then they meet somewhere in the middle just to make headlines. Further on, in the middle of the Hero’s Journey, a magical diner confounding the time space continuum is found through a rip in time out on US highway 101. There’ll be smoking, vaping, and paper-mâché artmaking. The unravelling mystery concerns a secret universal code that solves every question ever asked, naked aliens in love, flying cars, and eyeball laser-beams generated by mindfulness breathwork. War and poverty are solved by every billionaire setting up foundations with the sole purpose of giving 99% of their money away to feed, clothe, house, and build libraries and museums for everyone on the planet. A time machine is finally invented, and can be purchased online for the low low price of a hundred bucks. The world economy goes gangbusters, and cats sign a peace treaty with the birds. With one eye on the future, crows are skeptical. A time-traveling scientist from the future comes back with a semi-invisible peace bomb, and when detonated transmits globally engulfing and infusing loving vibes – altering every human being from neighborhood to country to continent – within hours filling all minds and hearts on Earth with peace, love, universal wonder, and loving acceptance for all. The curtain comes down. Credits roll. Fade to black.
Richard, Many thanks for reposting the ending.
Much appreciated, Alisa Kennedy Jones!